My kids have been asking for a fro-yo day. I called it a fro-yo date but they are quick to correct me and remind me “It’s not a date mom, it’s a fro-yo day.” I had been telling them for weeks that it would happen in the summer even though I had no idea when I planned to take them. They had a program at their school recently where they got to show all the amazing work they have been doing all year long. I was so impressed with all their work on our way out that I told them today was the day, I would be taking them to fro-yo. They screamed loud and could not contain their excitement as they hurried to get into the car and put on their seat belt. 

I had no idea what fro-yo sore was close by so I plugged it into my GPS and found one close to their school. On the short ride there, the kids asked so many questions from the name of the fro-you shop to what flavors they had and they romanticized the idea of finally having the fro-yo they had been dreaming about for months.  We got it and they started pumping flavors into their large bowls. Who knew two bowls of yogurt would cost this much, I had no idea. We got the bowls and their joy was, even more, heightened by the chance to sit there and eat it instead of having it in the car. 

I sat there smiling and watching them take spoon after spoon in their mouths and I  scooped a few spoons each from their bowls myself. We had been sitting for what felt like 10 minutes and my daughter Yadael who is 8 looked around inquisitively and blurted out the statement “Are we the only people with this skin color here.” I was taken aback by the statement and quickly looked around myself to notice we were the only black people in the establishment. 

Then I proceeded to ask her why she made the statement and she smiled as she took another spoon and said “Because it’s true we’re the only people with this color.” I  paused. I didn’t quite know what to say. I watched her for a few minutes as she slowly scooped another spoon of the melting raspberry in her mouth and I asked, “Do you feel any way that we are the only people with our color here?” Without hesitation, she said “Yes,” and laughed “It’s embarrassing.” I asked, “Why is it embarrassing?” She said, “I don’t know it just is.” Knowing my daughter uses the word embarrassing out of context often I paused to ask “Do you even know what embarrassing means?” She chuckled again and said “noooooo,” I smiled at her and said, “Embarrassing means you feel ashamed of something.” She said, “It’s not that I just think they will probably all be looking wondering how come we are the only people with a different color here.” My 6-year-old Kolel was sitting there and watching us talk about this. I went on to say “Well you shouldn’t worry what people think of you, own your space, don’t feel like you have to act different or be different because you are the only one with  color, be proud of your color.” “I am proud of my color” she chuckled, “I am just saying…..” Her brother exclaimed, “I don’t care what people think of me, I am proud of who I am.” I assuredly said, “That’s right Kolel.” Yadael smiled as she continued to scoop her yogurt into her mouth as she muttered “okay” under her breath. 

At that moment it occurred to me that she is growing faster than I imagined. Her child-like screen in which she saw the world is starting to fade. Children have an innocence to them, one that should not be tampered with until it naturally begins to fade. I wish she didn’t have to be faced with the realities of color as we know it in society. When she was younger she didn’t have the awareness that she does now at 8……my baby is just 8, and I wish she didn’t have to wonder, wonder what others thought, I wish she didn’t have to process the realities of the fact that people are treated differently because of their skin color. Keeping in mind this conversation happened a day after the shooting in Missouri of the 16-year-old innocent black boy Ralph Yar;  so I can’t help but wonder what whispers she must have heard from the school that could have impacted her thought process at this moment.

I know as her mother I would not be able to shield her from the realities of life and I am keenly aware this is part of growth but……I just wish she had the chance to hold on to her innocence much longer, but I guess the reality of life hits sooner with each passing generation.